Scatterbrained.

Two thoughts of my brain this week: Reconciliation and the need for the gospel.

RECONCILIATION

'In order to live in reconciliation, we must reconcile our own hearts.'

This past fall, Biola's theme for Torrey Conference was about the topic of reconciliation. I really enjoyed it, I strongly believe in reconciliation. I learned a lot. During each session, I remember thinking, 'is their someone in my life who I need to reconcile with?' I got nothing.

Flash forward 9 months.

This Summer has been a challenging one. So many major changes have occurred in the past month, I am forced to tackle them head on. I am beginning to realize that there are certain people in my life that I say I have forgiven, but my heart still holds onto their words and actions (or lack their of) that hurt me in the past.

I have realized that I have a lack of faith in God when it comes to other people. It's been a struggle for me to think that God can truly transform people. But then I think of how God came into my life and transformed me. I was self-seeking, selfish, vain, prideful, the list could go on and on.

Back to reconciliation. See how scatteredbrained I am?

God can change people. Even the worst of people. He changed you. Me. He has changed this person in my life greatly. We certainly do not deserve it. I have to start extending grace to people, like Christ has given me. I cannot reconcile with people that have hurt me (and vice versa) if I cannot give them grace and let go of the bitterness and hurt in my heart. Because the things that we harbor in our hearts extend to our hands. If we harbor hate, we will extend hate.

THE NEED FOR THE GOSPEL.

For the majority of my life, I grew up in the San Diego's South Bay region. The majority of the people in this region are low-income, come from broken homes, etc.

Growing up, I wanted to get out of this place badly. I hated everything. I thought the people in my community were rude and shady. I was very judgmental.

Then I moved to La Mirada. Definitely a change of pace of what I was used to. But in the past two years. God has been softening my heart. Going back and forth between these two communities has definitely changed me. Every time I come home instead of seeing my neighbors as strangers, I am beginning to see them as Christ sees them, and it breaks my heart.

God is really softening my heart for the underprivileged and those 'forgotten' by society. It's really hard because with the compassion that I have for those around me, I feel guilty because I want to help, but I feel like this task is too big for me.

The need for the gospel is urgent here. I think about the lack of active churches in the South Bay. It frustrates me. The Christians that I do know around here, go to churches in more affluent areas of San Diego.

So what can I do? I am still figuring all the details out. But in time, I think God will help me to be more bold in my faith when it comes to sharing Christ with those around me.


In other news. Summer is almost over. I have so little time and so much I wanna do!