Thursday, February 23, 2012

A deep seeded faith.

Change is coming.

Short version: God is moving. Taking my life and turning it upside down.

Not into reading long rambling posts? Stop here.

Okay you lost your chance...

I am in a state of transition (I have come to really HATE that word in the past months) and with that dreaded 'T' word comes another bad word....trails. But I have found that my positivity strength is one of my biggest enemies. Because I am naturally optimistic, I tend to disregard my struggles and minimize them.

I have finally realized that I am in a time where things are uneasy. I am living in the 'unknown' A lot of things in my life are 'up in the air.' My job situation. Personal relationships...uh basically my future.

One of the things that I struggle with is control. By nature I like to have everything figured out. I like to know what I am getting into. I like to have a plan.

One thing I am certain of is that God has a plan for me. He is guiding my steps.

Yes! Yes! I know God loves me and has a plan for me. He gives me strength, hope, and wisdom.

Yes I know this. It has been beaten into my head through theology classes, sermons, friends, mentors.

Knowledge can be a very powerful thing. But sometimes we can become numb to the things that we already know.

But sadly the things that have been 'beaten' into my head about who God is are just in my head. It hasn't seeped into my heart.

And isn't that where TRUE transformation begins?

One of the things I am realizing is that I need a genuine faith. I desire to have a  intimate and deeper relationship with the Lord. I am yearning to have a faith that pierces my heart and transcends through out through my actions and words. 

Even though I am in a season of uncertainty. I can feel that the Lord is calling me to go deeper with him. Inviting me to a place where I can learn to what it truly means to have faith in him. What it looks like to rely on him solely. To go to him with all my worries, anxieties, etc.

It is my prayer that in this season you will help to understand the truths of who you are whole heartily. Please give me genuine faith that I can live out for your glory. Transform me. Use me. I desire to be broken and built up by you.