The past 8 months, I have been striving to build genuine relationships with my neighbors. This road has been met with moments of joy, peace, frustration, and pain.
I now sit here, with 3 months left in the community fellows program. Hopeful for what comes next. A little anxious about how to get here. And thankful for the experiences good and bad that have occurred as I navigate what it means to provide a glimpse of God's kingdom to others through relationship.
The past 8 months have been leading up to this. I have been plowing. Planting seeds here and there. Now its time to water the plants. Now its time to care and cultivate.
I am reminded of the parable of the sower in Matthew 13:
The Parable of the Sower
13 That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea. 2 And great crowds gathered about him, so that he got into a boat and sat down. And the whole crowd stood on the beach. 3 And he told them many things in parables, saying: “A sower went out to sow. 4 And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them. 5 Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, 6 but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away. 7 Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. 8 Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. 9 He who has ears,[a] let him hear.”
I know God is here. He has been in this neighborhood way before I moved here. He will be here long after I move on to wherever God has in store for me. I am just an instrument for his vision here in Bellflower. I have been sowing. My hope is that as the seeds I planted and relationships I have cultivated have landed on good soil. Soil that will help the seeds thrive and grow.
Now it's go time. Yes, the past 8 months have been hard. I have made mistakes, I could have done things differently. But I will not live in the "Should-haves" and "could haves" I desire to take these lessons to the Lord to ask for a transformation and renewed hunger to finish strong and seek God's vision for the Cedar neighborhood. I desire to continue to invest in the relationships that I have and partner with my new friends to go out and seek neighborhood transformation through gospel relationships.
Lord. I pray that you will help me to be present. Right here. Right now. I am in this state of 'unknown.' You have called me and now it is my time to go. Go out. Grant me boldness. Help to not focus on the mistakes and short comings of the past. Give me a renewed sense of fire for this neighborhood. I pray for good soil.
You 'Grow' girl,
(I just haaaaad to throw in a pun here.)